Garnet Mows the Lawn
by Voltalia the Majestic One
Summary: [Influenced by Starcharter-75; parody of and partially based on "Cloud Mows the Lawn."] Pearl is so engrossed in watching Garnet mow the grass around the lighthouse that she doesn't realize that something's up. What could it be? Find out here! Rated T for mentions of sexual conduct.


**Author's Note: Hello, everybody! I'm more than glad to say that this fic is a Steven Universe parody of the notorious "Cloud Mows the Lawn." Thing is, though: no scat whatsoever will be involved during the whole thing. Instead, let's just say that it involves another kind of waste. Also, I'm only going to parody the first chapter of this FFVII fic, because let's face it: if I at least managed to parody all four chapters, you'd probably get sick of it really quickly. Anyway, please enjoy! **

**-Voltalia**

Pearl was lying on her stomach atop the Crystal Temple while she watched with fascination as Garnet mowed the grass around the lighthouse. The hot pink brawny Gem was topless, which was undoubtedly a huge turn-on for her bride of almost four weeks. Pearl laughed to herself when she realized that she could stare at her all day if she wanted to. However, she was a bit saddened that Garnet would eventually finish her work. Garnet was the kind of individual to train regularly and her abs and chest proved it. She was the most attractive woman Pearl had ever met next to Rose Quartz.

But that wasn't what attracted Pearl to her in the first place. They had known each other for years, and Pearl had had a secret crush on Garnet since long before Steven was even born. It wasn't until after a long mission one day that Pearl had let it slip her feelings for Rose's successor. Garnet was surprised by this, to say the least, but eventually she requited the attraction. In fact, she had proposed to the white-skinned Gem three months ago; naturally, Pearl accepted. She'd never forget that moment when she felt like she and Garnet were the only two people in the world.

Pearl thought fondly of these memories while she watched the woman of her dreams cut the grass for the fifteenth time. It had grown to be her favorite hobby, and it helped that neither of them required sleep and that the circumference of the lighthouse was about twelve feet across, which meant that the area of the grass surrounding the structure was larger. Pearl did not dare to move for even a second lest she'd miss the constant reminder of how strong Garnet was.

Out of the blue, something came up in her throat. It almost felt like stomach acid mixed with some digested food, but she tried her best to ignore the feeling. After all, she didn't really need to eat and neither did Garnet or Amethyst. She instead tried to focus on Garnet. Watching Garnet was too much fun. Her favorite part was at the end when she would go back into the Temple to shower. On the way inside, Pearl would always ask Garnet if she could join her in the shower. What usually ensued was lots of making out (as well as some occasional handjobs) and groping and they'd leave much giddier than ever despite all the teasing they'd have to endure from Amethyst for a little while. In fact, Pearl was so confident about joining Garnet in the shower that she was literally nude beneath her clothes.

She felt the stomach acid come up in her throat again; it had ruined her train of thought and left her slightly irritated. She had no intention of leaving her place however. She wanted to stay put for as long as it took and watch the wife take care of the ground that worshipped the lighthouse. While she knew that she'd do it again and again and again, Pearl couldn't bear to stop looking at her woman, she loved watching her that much.

The stomach acid came up once again and that was when Pearl realized that something was up. She had to think of something and quickly! She could run back into the Temple and return as soon as possible, but then she'd miss some of the action. Her only other option was to stay and clean up after herself later, but she was concerned about how Garnet would react if she saw her honey puking in front of her. That thought rose the stomach acid even higher in her throat. Pearl then looked down on the surface she was sitting on. The Temple had been around since several hundred years before Steven, or hell even his father, had started off as an idea. It was a rather vile idea for her to deface it like this.

_ Oh, well._ she thought to herself. _When you have to purge, you have to purge. _

She let her stomach have it and she found herself expelling much of her contents. Thankfully, it only seemed composed of clear liquid and some blue slush here and there, but it was hard enough to look at it directly. How would she be able to get away with this?

"Are you alright?" Pearl heard a feminine English voice ask.

She turned to see where it had come from and found herself looking up at Garnet. She had been so caught up in what she had just done that she didn't even realize that Garnet had already finished mowing and had come up to see her. Pearl felt so ashamed of herself that she started crying.

"Don't cry, sweetie." Garnet said softly. "There's nothing wrong with vomiting outside. Here, let me help you. Open wide."

Garnet stuck out a finger and inched it slowly towards Pearl's now open mouth. At first, Pearl had no idea what to make of it, but then she realized what her bride was getting at. Garnet's finger just barely touched the uvula before Pearl vomited again.

"Garnet, what were you doing?!" Pearl asked irritably once Garnet withdrew her hand.

"I just thought I'd make you feel better." Garnet replied, a bit confused. "Believe me, you're not alone."

"You mean you've had a vomit fetish all this time and you've never told me?"

"I was afraid of how you'd react."

"Well, gee, when you put it that way... actually, could you do it again?"

"Sure. Anything for you, Pearl."

Garnet stuck her finger into Pearl's mouth again and the slender Gem unleashed her contents once again.

"Thank you." Pearl said gratefully. "I really needed that."

"That won't be necessary." Garnet replied with a little smile. "Come on. Why don't we shower together?"


End file.
